Self-esteem and self-confidence are not the same

The two terms are often used as if they mean the same thing. They don’t. In my years of work in graphology, I have seen that they are independent traits, which combine in four ways:

• High self-esteem and high self-confidence
• High self-confidence and low self-esteem
• High self-esteem and low self-confidence
• Low self-esteem and low self-confidence

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how we estimate ourselves: a largely unconscious judgement of our own worth. It is whether we look up to ourselves or down on ourselves. It can draw on our abilities, but it never rests on them alone.

What is self-confidence?

Self-confidence is belief in our abilities, skills and strengths. It supports self-esteem.

Where they come from

Can someone have high self-esteem without a notable skill or strength? Yes. Self-esteem feeds heavily on our surroundings: friends, family and relatives, and how they treat and regard us. Any skill or strength adds to it.

The same question applies to self-confidence. Who decides whether a strength is really a strength, or a skill really a skill? Again, much depends on the people around us.

Both can be worked on. Graphotherapy is one approach I use, for example practising larger capital letters and higher t-bars as part of a guided programme. Counselling helps too.

This article was first published on Practo Health Feed. Read the original on Practo